Q. Where do you get your ideas?
A. 50% are from staring at a blank piece of paper. 20% come to me as I'm waking up. 10% while falling asleep. 15% actually happen to me. %4 are collaborations with friends (you know who you are). 1% were already done by the Simpsons, but I didn't realize it in time, so leave me alone.
Q. Do you take suggestions for comic ideas?
A. Although I like hearing ideas from readers (you guys are nuts!), I don't use them in my comics. Also, I do not purchase ideas from gag writers.
Q. What do you use to draw your comics?
A. I used to use Micron pens on Borden & Riley #234 Paris bleedproof paper. Now I use the Wacom Intuos4 Wireless pen tablet. It's like drawing with a pen made of dreams.
Q. How can I become a cartoonist?
A. Just start drawing, dude. There's no right way to do it. As far as getting a job cartooning, not only do I not know how (dumb luck is involved), I don't need the competition, thanks.
Q. How can I get F Minus in my local paper?
A. Contact your local newspaper and demand they run F Minus. This really does work. I'm not saying you should harrass them... but border on harassment. Border it.
Q. I'd like to reprint one of your comics.
A. That's not a question. Contact United Feature Syndicate.
Q. There was this one comic you did like a year ago with a pig or a dog or something, and I'm trying to find it, but I can't remember when it ran.
A. Neither can I. Actually that doesn't sound familiar at all. Are you sure it was mine? Try searching the archives.
Q. Why can't I find a man?
A. Maybe you need to take some time to find yourself before you go finding a mate. He's out there, but if you aren't okay with who you are, how can you expect him to be? I can't help you though, I'm busy. Also, I don't know you that well.
Q. Whose Dr. Pepper is this?
A. Oh, that's mine, sorry.
